You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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