After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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