I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
