I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
