Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
