You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
