Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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