So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
