In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize