I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
