i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
