i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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