hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
