I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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