Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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