Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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