You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
