no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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