Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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