wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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