Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
