I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
this boner is exhausting
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
