Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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