Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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