when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
