Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
