i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
