somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
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I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
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Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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