Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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