Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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