Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize