I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
