dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
