He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
