i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
