Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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