I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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