Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
