My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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