Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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