Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle