She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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