Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
