.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
