did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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