I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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