how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
