I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i may or may not be watching the land before time
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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