Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I understand Curling. That high.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
