bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize