i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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