im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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