I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
