You're so nebulous sometimes
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
zippers are such a cool invention
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
