I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
