so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
