Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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