she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize