Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
