Hey man sorry I got all grabby
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
