Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize