who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
