Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize